Thursday, January 5, 2012

Ladder, Ladder In The Hall, Who's The Dumbest Girl Of All?

The past several weeks have been a weird blur that feels like a never ending road trip over miles of boring highway while living out of a suitcase. Oh, did I mention I've been at home the whole time? That detail may have slipped my mind. 

About 10 days before Christmas, I was smack in the middle of Holiday Frenzy World; baking, wrapping, cleaning and decorating like I do every year. I went to grab something from a high shelf in my kitchen cabinet while standing on a cafe chair; a stupid thing I've done a hundred times. When I still couldn't reach the elusive item, I extended on my right foot to cover the distance and in a nano- second, I had flipped the chair and landed, left knee first on my tile floor. 

I was home alone at the time, which is a good thing because the screeching string of impressively shocking profanity that rolled off my tongue surely would have made a pirate blush. After two x-rays, a CT Scan, an MRI, ultrasound, regular stabilizer and crutches, and now a stabilizer that I think was designed for RoboCop, I'm awaiting surgery next week to fix all the damage from a split second stupid decision. 

Isn't it interesting how you can happily go along in life never needing to know what a "tibial plateau fracture" or a "torn ACL and meniscus" are, let alone how to spell them and then something happens and suddenly, you could handle the medical dialog from an episode of Grey's Anatomy without a blink? 

More interesting is how I have neatly avoided adding all that regular exercise to my daily routine that one year ago I promised myself I would do, and now that I'm told I can't do it because it puts pressure on my leg, all I want to do is jump around and run up the stairs. There is a whiny 10 year old with major authority issues inside of me and at times like these, she is pacing the imaginary floorboards. 

I can't get to the 2nd floor of the house to sleep on my real bed and I can't get to the basement where the laundry room is, so I've got a weekend bag i'm living out of and family members doing chores that I actually miss doing. Well, sort of. Like cooking. Leaning on a counter with your crutches balanced next to you while you hop around from stove to sink to refrigerator is crazy aerobic, so when dinner is done, I need a nap.

"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards." Oh, that Soren Kierkegaard,he was such a smart-ass-know-it-all. He was right though. Everything happens for a reason and I'm thinking that my commitment to health and well being was pretty half assed and this little adventure is the kick in the other butt cheek that I needed to go "all in." 

The guy who'll be putting my tibia back together with screws and who knows what else will be handing me off to some physical therapists and trainers who take their work very seriously, like I should. It is my leg and my life after all and not getting this thing into good condition means a life of pain I can spare my self. Suffering is over-rated. 

Let me be a cautionary tale to all you folks who also use a chair instead of a perfectly good step ladder when you "just need to grab something quickly". By the way, I do own a step ladder but I thought it would be a hassle to walk the 15 feet to the closet to retrieve it.  Yeah, not my best decision.

I'll be writing more regularly after I'm done with the whole surgical adventure. Before I sign off, I wanted to say Happy New Year to my readers in the UK, Russia, Australia, Canada, the U.S.A.. I appreciate your feedback!

Back on my feet again soon...