Thursday, January 13, 2011

ATTENTION! I Am Not Paying Attention (?)

I have decided to not use this blog space to hyper focus on every aspect of the WW Program. Why, you may wonder? Well, I shall tell you.
The extra weight on my body accumulated over the years; quietly, stealthily and easily. It happened without me paying much attention to it except for those shocking moments in shopping malls when my head would turn and I would see the overweight woman in the store window. After a few seconds, my brain ran it's facial recognition program and reported, "Holy **** That's Me!". This little "surprise party" was fostered by having mirrors set above waist high in my house so there was never a full viewing of the progress of my getting fat "project" in privacy. Oh no.
These moments always happened when I was in the midst of thousands of others on my way to Lane Bryant for some clothing item that my skinny self would never, ever wear.
Side note: notice how grocery stores have very few reflective surfaces besides the dairy and frozen food areas? Even those glass doors are so filled with product right up to the windows and the aisles so confined (like cattle chutes), that you don't really get a proper look at your self. Plus you're too busy trying to remember your shopping list to have the "That's Me!" moment. Imagine if they sold full length mirrors in the same aisle that they sell my beloved cheddar and sour cream Ruffles? The Ruffles company would be out of business in a month. I digress. Over the years and many diets, I would hyper focus on minutiae; mostly shame, blame and lame behavior that got me to this point in the first place. I hated the food restrictions. Carrie Fisher put it so well when she said, " I don't like that diet has the word die in it."
This time, in my new lifestyle, I'm using the Points Plus Tracker to carry the details for me. After a few minutes of researching a recipe or an ingredient, I log in to see how many points I have left to spend for the day and get on with my life. My version of this new lifestyle is to put my attention on the cooking school I am putting myself through right now (auto didactically) and discovering- like Iron Chef contestants, what kind of exciting things I can create out of the ingredients in front of me.
Last night for example, I pulled out my copper sauté pan and starting with a wild caught piece of salmon, some broccoli and some mini bowtie pasta as the main elements. I raided my fruit and veggie stash and my ridiculously stocked spice cabinet and began the clock. Second side note: My husband runs a hotel with an award winning restaurant and chefs and blah, blah. I get tiny gifts from chefs like Rajev, who brought me fresh cinnamon he peeled off his mother's tree in India on a visit home. He gives me little baggies of cloves (fresh!) and other wonders and ideas about how to use them. He must be a laugh riot at the customs gate. So, my point is, I have the supplies to go Giada on my food.
I steamed the broccoli as a side dish: simple and good. For the salmon, I took two fresh oranges and squeezed the unsweetened juice out of them into the pan and poached the salmon. I added shallots, 1 Tbs lite soy sauce, a pinch of dill and chives, and 1/2 can of diet Vernors soda (ginger ale for non Vernor's virgins). When the salmon was cooked, I removed it and reduced the "sauce" down adding some orange zest for flavor. I broke up the salmon into bite size pieces and served it over a cup of the pasta with the sauce over it. Viola! Yumminess.
The whole time I was cooking, my attention was on the fun of pure creation and not my butt in a mirror. I want this program to be so naturally a part of my life that I will forget I am on it-forever- and it will be like breathing. So, my blogging is going to reflect my "slimmed down" personal anxiety as well. Attention. Mine is looking here and ahead with a new attitude.
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